


It's Dumbass Hours, Ladies and Gents.

by coldairballoons



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: (And A Drink), Dammit Jim, Leonard "Bones" McCoy Needs a Hug, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23801476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldairballoons/pseuds/coldairballoons
Summary: It was raining on that fucking mud planet, per usual, apparently, and Bones was far from happy about it.
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	It's Dumbass Hours, Ladies and Gents.

**Author's Note:**

> hyperfixation hours bitch

It was raining on that fucking mud planet, per usual, apparently, and Bones was far from happy about it. For one thing, the storms kept jamming their equipment, so until someone could figure out how the hell to deal with it, the crew was essentially stranded.

And for another thing, a certain James T. Kirk had decided that it would be a wonderful fucking idea to attempt to convince his Vulcan boyfriend (boyfriend? lover? partner? Bones wasn’t sure about the labels, but they were certainly… intimate, to say the least.) to dance with him in the rain. Which would be cute under any other circumstances, but seeing as they had a crabby, pissed off crew on their hands, with muddy Starfleet boots and rain-plastered hair, it was decidedly less so.

“Captain,” Bones tried to say, calmly, normally, not like some annoyed doctor whose southern accent definitely wasn’t coming through even more because of just that level of exhaustion, “we’ve got to say on track.”

“We all need a break!” Jim announced, and Bones wasn’t sure whether it was Uhura or Chekov who groaned, but it was definitely one of them. “Come on, we’ve been offworld for a few months now, we need a break.”

Which, yes, Bones agreed with, but on the other hand… “On a fucking mud planet?” He muttered, sighing again and shutting his eyes, trying to maintain composure. 

Okay? Okay.

“Jim, we do not have time for this.” Bones hissed to the captain, who rolled his eyes, turning his attention away from Spock for a little less than a moment to glance at Bones with a raised eyebrow. “I’m serious. If you wanted a vacation, hell, we could have stopped at that… that… beach… place.” 

Jim snorted, finally focusing on Bones for more than a millisecond. “That beach place.”

That was it. That was fucking it. “Dammit, man, I’m a doctor, not a geographer!” Bones cried, then proceeded to give up, rubbing his hands down his face and exhaling sharply. “Just… let’s focus on getting out of here?”

Finally, after a moment of silence between the two of them, (and the rest of the crew, who had overheard the conversation and gone silent), Jim shrugged, holding his hands up in surrender. “You got it.”

“Fucking finally,” Bones muttered, and turned, ready to walk away and continue work on the equipment, but then something wet and slimy and cold hit the back of his neck. He raised a cautious hand to it, brought it to the front of his face, and his eyes widened. 

Fucking MUD.

“Goddammit, can you stop being a dumbass for ONE SECOND?!” Bones barked, but Jim was just losing his fucking mind, and, if the howls of laughter from the rest of the crew were any indication, he wasn’t the only one. (Even Spock let out a small chuckle, but he’d take that fact to his grave.)

Jim shook his head, almost in disbelief, still grinning like a madman, and looked up to the sky, blinking away raindrops, and snorted out a simple “No.” before dissolving into laughter again.

That is, until a wet glob of mud decided to mysteriously land on his nice, pristine new uniform. He looked up, a newfound grin of disbelief spreading on his face, to see none other than the chief medical officer himself holding another handful of the mud.

Okay, yeah, maybe they really did need this break.


End file.
